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In Quiet Desperation, by Fred Matis, Marilyn Matis, Ty Mansfield
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Most likely, someone you know is living a life of quiet desperation, struggling with feelings of same-gender attraction. In an effort to help Latter-day Saints understand and reach out to those who suffer from this difficulty, Fred and Marilyn Matis discuss how they've dealt with the knowledge of their son Stuart's challenge with same-gender attraction, and how parents and others can reach out with love. In addition, Ty Mansfield discusses his own challenge and how he continues to go forward with faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. "The Lord promised that he will change our hearts, but he didn't say when," writes Mansfield. "He never promised it would happen in mortality. He only said it would happen."
- Sales Rank: #649934 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-01-03
- Released on: 2011-01-03
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
Finally - No Rhetoric, October 22, 2005 by a customer This is a book that offers real peoples' experiences and struggles as they sought the strength of the Lord to carry them from day to day. It's free of the rhetoric and personal agendas that fill almost all of the writings on the subject. This is a book of hope. A message of hope and faith, July 17, 2006 by a customer I have found much hope and faith in reading 'In Quiet Desperation.' I am grateful that there are those out there who are willing to share their stories and shed light on this usually 'dark' or 'forbidden' challenge. I have been dealing with same-sex attraction my entire life and find a great deal of hope in realizing there is a place for me in the Kingdom of my God. I am grateful to the authors for their raw honesty. This book reminds us that we do not have to live a life of misery and fear and depression because of same-sex attraction. The book is uplifting. Excellent resource!
From the Inside Flap
In Quiet Desperation Understand more clearly one of the most difficult and perplexing challenges of our time – same-gender attraction.
Most likely, someone you know is living a life of quiet desperation, struggling with feelings of same-gender attraction. This book can help.
Part 1 takes us into the heart and mind of a mother and father who did all they knew how to assist their son to bear this heavy burden and face life in the best way he could. "If all youth knew they were loved and accepted, there would be fewer suicides and fewer children lost to the gospel of our Savior."
Part 2 shares the reflections of another young man who wrestles with same-gender attraction but who moves forward with hope. "The Lord promised that he would deliver us, but He didn’t say when. He never promised that it would happen by Monday; and He never promised it would happen in mortality. He only said it would happen."
And though these experiences come from the perspectives of men who have feelings of same-gender attraction and their friends and family who love them, the principles and their application discussed here are equally useful in the lives of women who have this challenge.
In fact, this book can teach all of us how to draw closer to the Lord, no matter what our circumstances or burden may be.
"In Quiet Desperation was the single most important influence in helping my husband and me when we first learned of our son’s homosexuality. The authors’ insights and strong gospel-centered approach brought us much peace and helped us to open our hearts and find hope." -Grateful parents
"As one who faces the daily battle of same-gender attraction, fighting to maintain hope and striving to live by the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, these insights have helped me gain a stronger sense of my absolute worth and a more firm understanding of my purpose in the plan of salvation." –Resolute fighter
"This book has allowed me to have greater understanding and give better counsel as I’ve met with individuals who struggle with the challenge of same-gender attraction. I highly recommend this book to any church leader who has the stewardship to reach out and give life-sustaining guidance." –Priesthood leader
About the Author
Fred and Marilyn Matis have counseled with dozens of young adults who struggle with the challenge of same-gender attraction. They have also shared their insights with bishops and other Church leaders as well as professional counselors at Brigham Young University. They live in Utah and are the parents of five children.
Ty Mansfield served a mission in New Hampshire and is a graduate of Brigham Young University.
Most helpful customer reviews
28 of 34 people found the following review helpful.
A complete misrepresentation of my friend
By Eric C. Erickson
This book pretends to explain why my friend, Stuart Matis, took his own life dramatically. Stuart's parents are just speculating on what it is like to be a gay man. Ty Mansfield never met Stuart, and is himself pretending to be an exgay married to a woman. He is entitled to his own life, but to to rewrite that of others.
This book is a shameful misrepresentation of a man's life. I miss Stuart and wish he could have survived the manipulation that Mormonism imposes on its gay children, but he is only one of 3 gay Mormons friends I have lost to suicide.
29 of 39 people found the following review helpful.
I'm now out and proud
By Amazon Customer
I read this book shortly after returning from my mission to Germany. I had discussed my homosexuality with my parents and church leaders prior to my mission. As with many gay Mormons I thought that if I followed the guidelines of the church and tried hard to live a pure life that I would be able to marry a woman and have a family. When I returned home my struggle to remain a faithful Mormon became more difficult and desperate. I read this book at the urging of my mother. Reading it had the opposite effect than my mother was hoping. I came to understand for myself that the self hatred and lack of self respect I had come to know growing up would never let me enjoy my life. It still took a couple more years to finally accept myself as a proud gay man, but now I am out and proud! Come out and be happy! Come out and make a stand for equal rights and treatment! Come out and show your families that that you can be happy and successful! Come out and teach your families what true Christianity is... Love and Compassion.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Very encouraging
By Mike
I had considered buying this book for a long time but I was embarassed to ever do so. Then one day I just got over it and bought it. It's honestly one of the most helpful books I've ever read. It's got a great perspective on the Atonement.
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